I Am Still Thirsty

These last few days, I've been sick. It feels like I've swallowed razor blades. Yesterday and today, more like sandpaper. I am not a fan of antibiotics. I know, I'm strange. So, I was actually glad when the worst of it came at the start of the four day weekend. This way I can drink plenty of water and get lots of sleep.

Today, while feeling better....I feel....off. As I look outside, cloudy. Inside (of me), also cloudy.

I sat for a minute to think of what my 'real' problem is.

In addition to the sickness, the clouds and my recent outside attack ....what is my deal?

I thought of the outside attack from yesterday. When people come at me, even if I know deep down that what I/we're doing is truly a God leading, attacks can still shake you up. I know it's important to give it to God and to be open to always re-evaluating your situation. Upon doing that, I was reaffirmed that we were on the right track. So, why was this attack still getting to me? Two things---1)I am still crucifying my flesh, and 2) I'm still thirsty.

What does that mean? Crucifying my flesh?

In my flesh, the 'old' Annie would have stood up and defended....Annie style. A lot of facts, sprinkled with some insults. Come at me with something....I'll give you ten reasons why you wish you hadn't. I would have let out all you thought I didn't know about you and your life. It would have been a 'show' for all to see. I lived for that.

In addition to that, I would have defended our position with facts. Straight. Up. Facts. Emails included.

Instead, God has us silent. He gives us the words He wants us to say, and He shuts us up when He doesn't want us to speak. That means, so many people don't know what is real. Over the years, it's become more natural....but it is not easy. It still requires me crucifying the flesh. Trusting God. Trusting that He knows what He's doing. That He sees all. That He loves me and truly wants what is best for me and my family.

Romans 8 is fantastic!

Those who know me well know I always have a water bottle with me. If I forget it, I almost panic. If I'm close enough to home, I go back to get it. Depending on how long I'll be gone, I may go and buy one. Usually, I can last about an hour. I keep two or three in the fridge at school, just in case....Lucas might need one, a friend might need one....you never know. I have actually given them to friends and Lucas. ;) Water is super important. It's good for your brain, your skin, your muscles, kidneys, bones, keeps you healthy and so on. However, this isn't what I am thirsting for. Jesus and the Word of God is what I need more of.

During the week, I'm on a pretty good schedule. I saturate myself with the Word of God. Weekends? Not so much. Weekends are more, fly by the seat of my pants. I do what I cannot do during the week. It is safe to say, I don't saturate myself even 1/4 of what I do during a 'typical' weekday. That is a problem. During the week, if someone 'comes at me' I KNOW who I am in Christ. I am able to re-evaluate situations and I am super confident that even when I can't see things, God IS working. In the midst of the attack, I can still feel the peace that only God can give.

What a great reminder to me, God is just important on the weekends....His Word is just as important as the water I won't go more than an hour without!

^{John 7:37} On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink.