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Today, Luke was looking at the numbers in his old cell phone. He closed it, looked at me with a saddened look and said, "John's number is still in there."
John was Luke's stepbrother. On August 27th, 2006 at the age of 28 years old, he died. The "official" cause of death was an Adverse Reaction to Cocaine.
I remember John called our house the day before he died. His number was on our caller ID, but he didn't leave a message. We had been out to dinner with Luke's mom (Pam) and stepdad (Bob). Pam had mentioned that John was going to be calling us because he wanted to talk with us.
I don't know if he was calling to congratulate us on being pregnant or to share his excitement about his medical residency in New York.
Luke mentioned that he wished he would have called John when we got home and talked to him all night. Maybe then, he would still be alive.
We both know that you can't play the "what if" game, but sometimes you can't help it.
The next morning at 5am our phone rang. It was Pam, letting us know that John had died. It was as though someone had punched me in the stomach. I just couldn't comprehend the words. I sat down and repeated over and over "Oh, My God." Not in a disrespectful way, but as a genuine prayer. It was all I could mutter.
If you've read my previous posts I've spoken of my vivid dreams. I remember one dream in particular right after John died. He was in my dream and I knew he was dead. He had a tux on and looked younger, maybe high school age. I looked at him confused and he said, "It's not time for me to go yet." I don't remember what else he talked about, but I do remember he hugged me. It was so real and so comforting. As I awoke I realized I was hugging a pillow very tightly. I had peace for awhile after that. Like I had been able to get one last hug and say goodbye.
His Birthday is February 24th, two days after Emily's. He would have been 33 years old.
I love him and I miss him.
Dr. John William Jung
February 24th, 1978
August 27th, 2006
For more info and more of his story you can go to the following page.
2 comments:
The story of Luke's brother is so sad. I don't think that the outcome would have been much different if Luke would have called him back that night. Addictions are so strong and it's heartbreaking when they take over people's lives. I'm glad you got some closure by having a dream about him. I think God allows those moments for us so we know our loved ones are OK.
Thanks, Aimee :) I totally agree with you. Thank you so much for your friendship and support.
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