A few days ago, a young girl named Lindsay Huenink, lost her life. She was young, well liked, beautiful inside and out and a Christian. There are many stories of her always smiling, laughing and cheering up others. In all the pictures I've seen, all those things appear to be true. Yet, she chose to bring her life to an end.
Lindsay Huenink Article
To so many, including myself, it doesn't make sense. On the other hand I've been there. In a depression so deep and feeling all alone. Not wanting to burden anyone with my problems. When you're THAT sad, you aren't yourself and you aren't thinking clearly. Things seem much worse than they actually are, and it seems the darkness of the night magnifies it even more.
I know a lot of people are thinking, but she was a Christian. She had the love of Christ, how could this happen? Unfortunately, being a Christian does not exempt you from sadness, depression or feeling lonely. Yes, God is always with us, but when you can't actually 'see' him and all the worldly things are screaming in your face, you can become distracted. Satan is most definitely NOT pleased with Christians. It's his goal to take the world down with him. This young girl was compassionate, caring, counseled young younger children at camp, involved in her church, close to her parents and brother.....I don't see how Satan wouldn't be threatened.
It hurts my heart that she felt this deep sadness and that she felt taking her own life was her only option. The thing about depression is many don't reach out and get help. Whether it's because you don't 'want' to, feel you don't 'need' to or it just seems like to much work. Plus, you don't want to burden others and many times you feel bad for feeling the way you do, especially when you're viewed as someone who is always happy.
Selfishness is another thing that comes to people's minds in regards to suicide (ick--I don't even like to type the word). They think, well, you've ended your life and you've left your friends and family to grieve, hurt and deal with unanswered questions. I can see how that would be a 'normal' reaction and all....but it's just not true. The pain and sadness is so strong....they just aren't thinking clearly. They honestly think they're sparing others from themselves.
I used this tragic story as an opportunity to talk with Lucas, my 12-year old, about depression and suicide. It was hard topic to discuss. Part of me doesn't want to give him ideas and/or scare him, but the other part knows that it's important to educate him. To tell him how important HE is and that NOTHING is that bad....no matter what he thinks at the time. I let him know that the feeling can be overwhelming and even though he probably won't feel like it, reach out and talk with someone. I also told him to care for others as well, even people who he thinks are always happy and have it all together. The truth is no one is ever happy 100% of the time.
I pray that people will learn more and become more proactive. I know the news doesn't really report on suicides. They don't want to sensationalize it or give people ideas. I just don't think that's the way to go. They report on murders, robberies and other crimes, why not suicides? Why not use it to make people aware of depression? Why not use it as an opportunity to save others?
Today, while I was reading the paper, I came across another suicide story. Someone who had attempted it and then realized he didn't want to die. He used his story to spread an anti-suicide message to teens. Unfortunately, he lost his life this weekend in a car accident.
Devin Steinfort-Anti-suicide message
I hope you will join me in praying for the Huenink and Steinfort families as they make their way on this difficult journey. I also hope that you use their stories to raise awareness.
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1 comment:
Good post... thanks for the thoughtful commentary on a very difficult subject.
I would quibble just a bit with the idea that suicide is not selfish. I do agree with you when you say the person is often in such a deep sadness that they think they are a burden to other.... So maybe "selfish" is not the right word so much as "narcissistic". It is my view that anyone in such a loving family who is able to get outside themselves and evaluate not only how I feel right now but also how my parents and siblings and friends will feel when they hear the tragic news would not commit such an act.
So many aspects of our culture breed narcissism, so it can be challenging, but we need to make a conscious effort to honestly contemplate the reactions of other so actions that we take (not just suicide, but in all our words and deeds). The irony is that in doing this, we will be forced to appreciate the wonderful relationships we have been blessed with, which will lead us on the path to living happier lives. Of course, that can't be the goal of "stepping outside yourself", but it is certainly a nice side effect.
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