A 'Good' Christian?

I am not a 'good' Christian.

I do not think I'm better than everyone else because I'm a Christian. I'm better than everyone else for other reasons. ;) Kidding.....or am I?

Since my neighbor passed, my brain is trying to 'get used' to the idea of her not being here. I won't see her as we're coming home or leaving. I won't be seeing her while getting the mail. I won't see her out in the yard. Just gone.

I am very thankful for my faith. I know that I don't have to be a 'good' Christian to go to Heaven because

Romans 3:23
²³ for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God


Neither I, nor anyone else will be in Heaven because of what WE did.

John 3:16
¹⁶ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Jesus died for us. For OUR sins. Not His.

While I don't completely understand it, and I will confess that I cannot even fathom having one of my children (and them agreeing with it) DIE for something someone else did, the fact is He did. He loves us so much we cannot even comprehend it.

The thought of Jesus dying for MY sins is both angering to me and makes me feel loved. I question the Lord on MANY things....but guess what? He still loves me and still died for me. When I yell, kick, scream and sometimes even swear while 'talking' to Him (doesn't sound like a 'good' Christian to me), He still loves me and still died for me.
Well, that's another post for a different day.

Either way, I'm thankful that even though I'm not a 'good' Christian, the last time I saw my neighbor, wasn't the last time I will see her.

PS-I'm not proud of all the 'bad' things I do as a Christian, I just want to be honest about myself. :)