Questions and Answers

Lately, I've been having one of those seasons, which seem to happen often, where everything seems to be chaos. I'm trying to balance a bunch of things in one hand, juggle a bunch of things in the other hand, while driving a car, as I put out fires, while still sorting through the aftermath of a bomb that went of awhile ago. It's at this point, I'm convinced the Lord thinks I'm way stronger than I am....or He's just simply forgotten about me....or thinks, "She's doing just fine." All the while, I'm a mess and thinking "Ummm, hello? Remember me? What in the world is going on here? Can I get a little help. Perhaps a break?" I mean, craziness all around. How is this possibly be some sort of a plan? Planning does not equal chaos. My plan would not have included chaos and would have been better, right?

Let's go back a bit.

One morning before taking the kids to school, I stopped at Starbucks. I pulled into a spot and Lucas got out of the car to go inside and get a frappuccino for me. As Michael, Emily and I sat waiting, a Cadillac Escalade pulled in and parked two spots away from me. Well, let me tell you, this guy had the nerve to park his big fancy vehicle over the line, so no one could park between his vehicle and mine. He got out of his vehicle and in my head I was thinking, "Well, look at this jag. Thinks he's some big business man hot shot, not wanting anyone to be close to his precious vehicle."

Then, out comes Lucas with my frappuccino. I thank him, he buckles up and we begin to pull out of the spot to leave. As I was backing up, I was mortified and embarrassed. I was the one who parked all jacked up!!! How did I not catch that? I am all OCD (no seriously) about being in a spot correctly. I am one of those people who will back in and pull forward to make sure I'm in the lines. Instantly, I sensed the Lord saying, "See. You don't always see things clearly when you're in the situation."

Oops.

That happened three years ago and I have not forgotten it. Now, that doesn't mean I no longer question God. I still present my plan and compare it to His. Many times, I still believe my way is better than His. However, when I'm in the middle of something, and I feel like things are out of control, and I start judging other people and God, eventually, I come back to the Cadillac Escalade and remember that I don't always see things clearly when I'm in the situation.

I still think my ways are better...humanly speaking......but I KNOW the truth is......His ways are better. Whether I can see it or not.