Accepting Compliments

A couple days ago Luke complimented me on something. I made a joke about it and he asked if I thought I would EVER accept compliments from people. I do have a really hard time accepting compliments.....it's just so strange.

The compliments I have an especially hard time accepting are, you're so strong (emotionally, in my faith), kind, compassionate, loving, caring, brave, tough, great parent and so on. It feels strange even "saying" that people tell me these things. IF I am any of these things, it is NOT because of me. It is 100% the Lord. Without Him I am, well let's just say none of the above.

I have been through a lot of things. Just thinking about when Luke left.......I most definitely did not (most of the time) do what I wanted to do. There came a point where I had to make a decision. Was I going to do things my way or the Lord's way? Some people say, yes, but you made the decision. Correct, after kicking, screaming, questioning, arguing and being a snot, I did make the decision to follow Him. When He asked me to do what (I thought) was absolutely ridiculous, I listened, but I most definitely did NOT have a good heart at first. There was a lot of chiselling and refining going on.

It was an awful time and a blessing. My relationship with the Lord was strengthened and I learned to rely on Him more than I ever had. For the first time, He became my #1.

To be honest though, my relationship with Him is still not perfect. I still question Him, I want to see the map He has so I can help Him tweak it a bit, I don't always listen the first time, the list could go on and on and on. So, when people compliment me for something He is responsible for.....it just doesn't feel right.

I guess the short answer is, I don't know that I EVER will be able to accept compliments......

^{Psalm 118}

¹³I was pushed back and about to fall, but the LORD helped me.
¹⁴ The LORD is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation.