Giving Up or Letting Go?

I REALLY care about people. I would love for everyone to make wise decisions and be happy or just learn from their mistakes (or mine) the first, or even second time around. It's so painful for me to see people do destructive things to themselves and to others.

Sometimes, in my mind, I start to take an attitude of, well, you're just stupid and you deserve it, you idiot. Obviously, I know this is not healthy or helpful.....I have gotten better with that attitude over the years. I do still do it, and occasionally may say something along those lines to someone, but I soon realize it's not okay and I end up apologizing.

I have a really hard time letting go of other people's problems.....I think it's because I view it as giving up on them. I don't want to give up on them, nor do I want them to feel like I've given up on them. I want to be helpful, supportive and encouraging.

Unfortunately, most people only learn by making mistakes over and over. Sometimes, it takes coming to the end of themselves, being/feeling lonely and/or hitting a rock bottom, to truly change or even want to change. I'm just not a fan of that route. I mean-I don't even like movies that are sad. Some people say-well, movies that end happy aren't realistic. Guess what-I watch movies because I want to escape reality. I don't want to pay money to cry and be sad, and I sure as heck don't want to watch it happening to real people.

I've found that throughout my life I've had to let go of other people's problems, over and over again. Which, honestly makes me a little afraid. What on earth will I do when it's my children that I'll have to let go of. I'm going through this little by little now. I have a preschooler, an elementary student and a middle-schooler, what a difference, from holding Emily's hand with most things (although she's pretty independent and stubborn), to guiding Michael along the right track with a bit of freedom to goof up, to Lucas beginning to find his way on his own (as on his own as he can be) most of the time. It's so hard to see them fail at things though-especially when I could help them. But, if they don't fail now....what does that look like when they're adults? I'm sure they'd get a big smack upside the head and might not know what to do with themselves, not know how to problem solve and could become discouraged quickly. I guess at least now, I can teach them how to get back up and learn from their failures. It's still hard though.....I would love to protect them from everything.

I don't typically follow Dr. Oz....but I did catch him on The View one day. He said, "Every time you give your children something they DIDN'T have, you take away something you DID have." So true, but so hard. I suppose you could use that same quote and replace children with friends.

Well-this post turned a bit from my original thoughts :)

I guess if I don't view it as giving up on my children, why would I view it as giving up on my friends? However, it doesn't change the fact that letting go is hard, for both friends and family.